Saturday, September 27, 2008

Growing

Just a quick post. I have been heavily training every night with my Owner, she has been constantly and unrelentingly been programming me for her purposes. I wake up fuzzy and not remembering the end of the night before, but that's okay. I trust her and the programming she is instilling in me. I feel myself growing more and more obedient to what she asks of me. Unquestioning, and the borders between awake and asleep seem to be falling away. A lot of times I don't even know which I am anymore. I am also feeling heavy voyeuristic tendencies, it makes me excited when others know what is going on, and watch the goings on. And possibly participate.

I am so excited by what's going on and am eager and crave more and more every day.

Monday, September 15, 2008

A Weekend with Owner

My Owner recently came for a long weekend of rest, relaxation and playing with her pet. I will let her speak her own opinions on here if She wishes, but I would say that she had a wonderful time.

It has been quite a while since I have regularly programmed and trained with my Owner so it was long overdue, however we did our best to try to make up for lost time. Since it had been so long since we had tranced together, she wanted to ease me back into it. With the assistance of a pre-made script that was found and approved by Owner, I was slowly eased back into the motions of going back down and dropping down deeper and deeper into trance. The first script she used (which I honestly don't consciously remember much of at this point, she had to remind me of what it was) was a script that reminds me what it is to be a submissive, how it feels to be a submissive, and how good it makes me feel and how easy it is to submit. I do know that this left some very nice feelings in me that made me easily primed for what would come next.

One thing that assisted in this process (and that I use a lot) is the Brainwave Generator (BWG). This is a piece of software for Windows that creates binaural beats that your brain will pick up on and will make you more susceptible to trance states based on the brainwaves that your brain produces when you are in these states. Using this for me personally helps a LOT because it really gets my brain into a completely different space. This can also be masked in a hiss or other background noise like thunder or rain. When I'm listening to this noise, it makes me dizzy and makes me lose my sense of direction, and sense of anything keeping me grounded in one place, and makes me quite fuzzy headed. I feel like I become easier influenced and quickly pushed down to my trance like headspace. It's easier for me to be susceptible to suggestion, and I feel more readily willing to agree to things when in this headspace. It's really hard to describe, but it feels soo sooo good. Other than just the fact that it probably is priming my head to recieve hypnotic suggestions and commands, it just gives me the silly fictional feeling that I am being forcibly brainwashed and prepped to be given programming.

As the weekend progressed, She would slowly lower me deeper and deeper by dropping me, bringing me out for a bit, jumping me and trancing me again, deepening me a bit more, bringing me out, trancing me again, deepening me a bit more. This felt great, it was like going up and down hills and each hill is higher and each valley is lower, and you're going up and down faster and faster until you're suddenly out of control and you don't know whether you are up or down.

She also was constantly playing with a new snap trigger. She enjoyed taking me up and down and up and down and up and down, making me more and more pliable as the weekend went on, for a couple of days constantly having me under for most parts of an entire couple of days. The thing about this snap trigger, which I'm sure was the point of the exercise for Her, was that it felt awesome to completely have to give in and trust her... she started to associate this trigger with not just me going out, but losing my equilibrium as well. This means whenever she would snap I would just let myself go and start to fall over, so that I had to trust that when I went out I would not fall, that She would catch me wherever I was. It feels soo sooo sooo sooo good to be able to fall... to blank out and just let go, to give in, and to trust that I'm not going to hit the ground, that Owner is going to grab me, and hold me and keep me safe. It really helped me to go deeper and faster the more I trusted her with this. I trust my Owner implicitly.

We got to the point where she really would take me anywhere, and I mean anywhere in the apartment and I would wake up in another part of the apartment, not knowing what happened or how I got there. At one point I would go out and wake up at varying points along the path to get me to the shower. Finally, she put me in the shower, put me out, shut the door and had me start my shower constantly falling in and out of trance. All I remember is waking up, starting the shower, and then I was out of the shower, but I was very very very aroused all through this and after.

I apparently went a lot easier than she anticipated, for which I was very happy. I spent periods of time nestled in her lap, listening to her calm soothing voice whispering in my ear, re patterning my thoughts to her will, making me more and more obedient and submissive and pliable. I felt a massive change and opening of my will to hers after that weekend. By the end, I was so pliable and easy to put under that she could merely blow in my face and I would start to fade out.

After that experience, I look forward to many many weeks, months, and years of being tranced, reprogrammed, transformed and made to be Her pet. In person hypno-submission is far superior to over IM, but I am very happy to serve Owner no matter what the place or medium. I'm greatly anticipating the next time we can be together in person, however, so that we can build on what's already been accomplished.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Assignment from Owner

I am blank and empty. My mind is happy. Blank and empty. Brainwashing is good for me. It feels so good to let go and submit for my Owner. I want to pleasure her and obey her. Want to fully be her slave. I always obey my Owner. She knows what's best for me. It feels good to sit here with a blank empty mind. It is good to be brainwashed by my Owner.

I watch the red eyes and as they sear into my eyes they grab a hold of my mind... bypassing any self control or sense of self and control me fully. I obey my Owner. Obedience is submission. Submission is Pleasure. Pleasure is Obedience.

I have no control of my own... I have no purpose of my own... I surrender to my Owner completely...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Welcome!

Hello all. Just wanted to introduce myself and give an idea of what to expect in this blog. I am a (I hope) fairly normal early 20 something who has discovered the wealth of hypnosubmission. I started out with a mild curosity and fascination, and my interest was limited to a playful non-serious experimentation but this has very quickly, with the help of an absolutely wonderful close friend who has ended up being my Owner/Mistress/Programmer, turned to something serious. This is no longer a game - I am owned and controlled and very happy to serve and submit to Her and be programmed by Her.

I have started this blog to chronicle my journey, record thoughts and feelings, and carry out any instructions or orders She might have for me that may help me in my journey.